Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
