She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
