I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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