Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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