my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
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Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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