I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
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you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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