Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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