I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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