It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
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and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
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I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.