you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize