Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
