I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
