You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
