I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
