Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
