I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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