Buhtt sex?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
