Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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