shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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