Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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