mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
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