I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
