every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
well you can't waste a boner
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Gay?
German.
Pity.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
