Say something about gay babies.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
