pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
There was a lot of him and a little penis
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
