People with herpes should wear stickers.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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