it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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