Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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