Moan for me like Helen Keller
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
