Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
