I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
