wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
