her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It's blow job season.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
