I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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