She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
