how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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