absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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