I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
