My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
