Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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