Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
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We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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