I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
