screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
