Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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