Christians are straight up FREAKS
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
