We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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