just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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