where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
