I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Verdict: uncircumcised.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
