dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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