ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
