I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Yo dont text me then not text me
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
