Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize
