I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
