He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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