just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
whose parrot is this?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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