I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
