Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
