garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
