he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
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