the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
