my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
