Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
