stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
