It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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