new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize