So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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