Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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